Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Amber Spencer
Sw241
November 19, 2008
Social history
Today I interview a young man named Josh Carlson. He is a white male who is 22; his date of birth is November 11, 1986. He currently doesn’t have a job because he is a full time student at the College of Idaho where he also plays on the baseball team. But when he isn’t in school or on the baseball team he works at a snack shop on the beach in California.

Description of Interviewee
Josh is a white male who is around six foot four; his body build is of an athlete so he was in good shape. At the time of the interview he was wearing a pair of denim jeans, an Under Armor sweatshirt in which in the process of the interview he took off revealing a white tee that was a College of Idaho Baseball team shirt. He was wearing a black baseball cap in which the bill was only rounded to fit his face, the signature move of a baseball player, and a white pair of Nikes.

Early History
Josh was born in Long Beach California he was the fourth child of Shaun and Teri Carlson, he had a older sister Crystal who was five when he was born, a sister with special needs Carrie who was four and a brother John who was two. When Josh was four his little brother and his last sibling was born, James. Josh as a child, he had a normal one, he played on sports teams when he was really little, soccer and t-ball, and as he grew he played in more sports baseball, basketball, wrestling, and football. When he could he would also go to the beech. He was an ok student while growing up, was like a C or B student he kept his grades up so that he would be eligible for sports. While growing up he and his parents got along for the most part, the family is a large into sports. During his teen years his parents and his relationship was sometimes on hard times, because he was becoming independent, and parents did not want to let go yet. Growing up Josh got along with his siblings for the most part, they were close enough in age that they could have a close relationship. Josh’s sister Carrie means the world to him, so since she is special needs other kids would make fun of her and he got into many fights because he didn’t like her getting made fun of. His older brother was in the same sports growing up, so at times they were on the same team, so they had a friendly rivarily between each other. his oldest sister and him got along as normal older sisters do, she didnt want to be sceen in public with him he would always embarsss her infront of her friends. James and Josh have always gotten along. when Josh was young he had many friends becuase all of the diffrent teams and activites that he was invoed in and participated in.

Josh is in college now he is a senoir majoring in education and history. he wants to become a history teacher for a high school. TheCollege of Idaho is the third college he has attened. He went to Long Beach City College for two years as it is a two year school. Then last year he attended University of San Fransisco, and now is at the College of Idaho. He attended all of the schools on schlorships to play baseball. He thinks that an education is important, but his first love is baseball. He plans on getting his degree in eduaction, but it might be put on hold if he gets drafted.

When i asked him about his job history, he laughed because most of the year he is in basebball and has been since he was little. He expalined that baseball is his job becuase that is what pays for his education, and he said that he is most likely going to be drafted into the MLB after this year. So his work experrience is small he has worked at the beech soda shop, and a fast food joint. he explained that his job in life is to stay in shape, and practice baseball so that he can go far in the job, he explained that right now he is living his dream job ever, playing baseball. once his dream job is over he wwants to become a high school and teach history.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

group speech

Amber Spencer
JP Moreno

Group Speech

General Information
I. Amber Spencer JP Moreno,
II. Group Speech: Different types of speech
III. General Purpose: To inform the audience about the different types of speeches there are.
IV. Specific Purpose: To inform the audience about the different types of speeches there are and how they can be used.

Introduction:
I. Attention Getter: Welcome and thank you for attending the
II. Revel topic of speech: the different forms of speech
III. Reason to listen: people should be informed on the different types of speeches there are and how each should be used correctly.
IV. Creditability of Speaker: We make a team of creditability of speakers because we have been researching the different forms, have been in speech classes in which we have researched the topic.
V. Main Points: persuasive, informative, commemorative

Body:

I. Commemorative
a. also known special occasion speeches. 1.Inspirational:
i. One speaks to the converted.
ii. The pre-game pep talk is a form of this speech.
iii. speeches also have characteristics of inspiration..
iv. speaker give reasons y this should be important to the.
v. Main point clear so audience can identify with them and act upon it.

2.Commemoration or Celebration:
i. Commemoration deals with past events,
ii.e.g., patriotic and historical occasions and celebrations of past events—
cf. the speeches on Martin Luther King, Washington, or Susan B.
Anthony’s birthdays.
iii. Celebrations are often more focused on current events: graduations, celebrations of "specialness," bicentennials, sesquicentennials, individual or group accomplishments, e.3.Nomination:
1. Persuasive and enthusiastic.
2. Speech to actuate. Like a speech of tribute. 3. Stress dominant traits.4. Mention only outstanding achievements.5. Give special emphasis to the skills of the person.6. Narration and anecdote is appropriate here, as are metaphors.7. Try to "whip up the crowd"—especially supporters.
8. state the requirements needed for the job

3. Goodwill:
a. Create or strengthen favorable attitudes:
b. based around creation/cultivation of modesty, tolerance, and good humor.
c. Sometimes your goal will be to change uninformed beliefs and hostile attitudes.
d. You must know and represent the facts clearly and show a tolerant, patient, attitude.
e. Do not deride or attack opposing views or competitors but instead be good-natured and good-humored.
f. Keep in mind three things:1. Present interesting and novel information and facts about your subject;2. Show a relationship between the subject and the lives of your audience;3. Offer a definite service or information to the audience. Humility is often the key here. Do not so much attack oppositional views as offer to help the audience understand yours better. Introduction (of self) speeches where a speaker identifies/explains his/her services are examples of this speech.
4. Tribute:
a. To create in those who hear it a sense of appreciation for the traits or accomplishments of the particular person or group.
b. If you make the audience realize their essential worth you have succeeded, however, you should go beyond this; by honoring the person
c. Avoid pedantic speech and ostentatious speaking—no purple prose.1. Stress dominant traits.2. Mention only outstanding achievements3. Give special emphasis to the influence of the group/person.
5. Toast:.1. The purpose of the toast is to honor and call attention to someone or something.2. They can be humorous or serious depending on the situation or speaker.3. keep it short and have a point (1–2 minutes is good).4. Panache, kairos, polish, and poise are most important here. You want to give the most memorable toast at the table.5. Don’t read from notecards.

6. Introduction:

a. Make the audience receptive for the speaker and want to hear him/her.
b. Talk with speaker before hand.
c. to highlight the accomplishments, credentials, activities, and characteristics of the individual to speak.
d. . Make the audience want to hear the speaker
e. . You might relate an anecdote or (short) story, arouse curiosity, etc.
f. Make an effort to get the audience to like/respect the person—use information that the audience would find interesting, significant, or appealing
g. Reveal topic of speech.
h. Don’t talk about speech yourself
i. Neither praise too highly, nor belittle or insult the speaker
j. Be brief
7. Farewell:
a. honor the recipient
b. Do not try to tell everything about the person
c. Express regret about departure
d. Don’t make audience feel depressed
e. If gift is presented to recipient tie is presentation in speech
8. Entertainment:
a. Usually brief 3–5 minutes;
b. Requires imagination,. creativity, discretion, versatility, and judgment
c. There to amuse your audience
d. Build speech around theme
e. Support main theme with colorful examples
f. Be creative when delivering the speech.
g. Be good natured when delivering your talk—irony is acceptable but not bitterness.
h. Be optimistic and modest when speaking and create an appropriate mood for your listeners
i. Use play on words, and plenty of humor
9.Dedication:
a. given for the person or people who were instrumental in the construction, fundraising, or placement of buildings, objects, monuments, artworks, ships, (or any monumental vessel) and places (parks, etc.).
b. state purpose of occasion
c. Give brief, pertinent facts—the history of a building, object, or the persons involved with it—life facts about the person for a statue, etc.
c. d. Express thanks for any person particularly instrumental in building, creating, and/or fund raising.
d. Eloquence, originality, and profundity are the key here.
10 .Eulogies/Memorial:
a. Eulogies are usually given for a person soon after their death at a funeral service
b. memorials are for large groups and are often held well after an individual(s) death.
c. purpose is to pay honor or tribute to the deceased. Never forget, however, that you are giving the speech for the living and not the dead.
d. Stress the dominant traits, outstanding achievements, and/or the influence the person had on events and people.
e. A biographical account of the person’s life (birth to death) is often part of the eulogy.
f. Create a sense of appreciation for the person. And hold their life up as one worthy of emulation
g. The goals of a eulogy are to console the audience as well as to praise the deceased.
h. The eulogy is usually short, 2–6 minutes,.
Informative
1. type of speech where the speaker is teaching or explaining the main idea
2. has many similatires to a demonstration speech
3. have topic prevalent to audience
4. have topic information known
5. do brief summaries of important ideas
6. Stick to the facts, if needed
7. informing audience about topic
demonstration speech
8. should 4-6 minutes long
9. do events in order to have the product come out
10. show examples of finished product
11. use visual aids to help the process
12. practice speech so all kinks are worked out.

Persuasive
1. as a speaker you are trying to persuade the audience to adapt to the information you are providing, making most important
2. .show both sides of argument. But more emphasize on your side
3. at same time show respect for audience and their opinions
4. use lots of example in you are right on the topic.
Conclusion
I. Essence of Speech: Giving the audience the basic information on the different types of speeches.
II. Review Main Points: persuasive, informative, commemorative
III. Reason to Remember: the audience should remember the different types of speeches because, in the future they might need to give a speech, and they would want to choose the right one to use.


References:
Griffin, Cindy. Invitation to Public Speaking, 3rd Edition. Unitied States: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2009
.
Schultze , Quentin . An Essential Guide to Public Speaking. Baker Pub Group, 2006

http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/swebster/Demo%20speech%20guidelines.htm

http://www.public-speaking.org/

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/431039/oratory

speedch

Speech
Table of Contents

Brain Storming

Objectives

Roles and Topic of the Group

Journal

Drafts

Handouts














The overview!
Here are some samples of classic special occasion speeches

Inspirational: Also, "Reinforce." One speaks to the converted. The pre-game pep talk is a form of this speech. Party Nomination speeches also have characteristics of inspiration. Emotional appeals are appropriate—no proof is necessary—because of audiences agreement. You are "preaching to the converted," or the congregation. What you want to make sure to do is provide "reasons" or links for the audience to grasp. That is, tell them why this event should be important to them and about what they should to be excited. Using personal experience here is often quite useful. Keep your point simple; be sure to make your point clear; and, identify specific behaviors the audience can engage in.
Commemoration or Celebration: Commemoration deals with past events, e.g., patriotic and historical occasions and celebrations of past events—cf. the speeches on Martin Luther King, Washington, or Susan B. Anthony’s birthdays. Celebrations are often more focused on current events: graduations, celebrations of "specialness," bicentennials, sesquicentennials, individual or group accomplishments, etc. Be sure to have a coherent point. Narrative, personal and family experiences, and the retelling of important stories are strategies that are often employed here.
Nomination: Persuasive and enthusiastic. Speech to actuate. Like a speech of tribute. Business-like, energetic, and your goal is to stress the qualifications of the person involved. Begin with statement of intent—"to rise to place a name in nomination"; state the requirements needed for the job; name the candidate and state the person’s qualifications for the position—your job is to show why the nominee is an excellent choice; finally urge the audience to endorse the candidate as you formally place their name in nomination. Alternatively, you might start with the person’s name if they are already well known and understood to be a potential candidate.
1. Stress dominant traits.
2. Mention only outstanding achievements.
3. Give special emphasis to the skills of the person.
4. Narration and anecdote is appropriate here, as are metaphors.
5. Try to "whip up the crowd"—especially supporters.
Goodwill: Create or strengthen favorable attitudes: Establish Ethos. Goodwill speeches are based around creation/cultivation of modesty, tolerance, and good humor. Sometimes your goal will be to change uninformed beliefs and hostile attitudes. You must know and represent the facts clearly and show a tolerant, patient, attitude. Do not deride or attack opposing views or competitors but instead be good-natured and good-humored. Keep in mind three things:
1. Present interesting and novel information and facts about your subject;
2. Show a relationship between the subject and the lives of your audience;
3. Offer a definite service or information to the audience. Humility is often the key here. Do not so much attack oppositional views as offer to help the audience understand yours better. Introduction (of self) speeches where a speaker identifies/explains his/her services are examples of this speech.
Tribute: To create in those who hear it a sense of appreciation for the traits or accomplishments of the particular person or group. If you make the audience realize their essential worth you have succeeded, however, you should go beyond this; by honoring the person, you may arouse deeper devotion to the cause or vales the person or group represented. Avoid pedantic speech and ostentatious speaking—no purple prose.
1. Stress dominant traits.
2. Mention only outstanding achievements
3. Give special emphasis to the influence of the group/person.
Toast: Many cultures including our own, employ a sophisticated tradition of toasting. Russian Tomadas, for example, entertain as well as serving as toast master/mistress. "Toast Masters" (the group) in a sense, practice a form of toasting; as does the Rotary club. The Russians may toast all around the table, and the Georgians (former USSR not U.S.) are considered great speakers and often offer very beautiful and elaborate toasts.
1. The purpose of the toast is to honor and call attention to someone or something.
2. They can be humorous or serious depending on the situation or speaker.
3. In Western culture you should keep it short and have a point (1–2 minutes is good).
4. Panache, kairos, polish, and poise are most important here. You want to give the most memorable toast at the table.
5. Don’t read from notecards.
Introduction: Make the audience receptive for the speaker and want to hear him/her: Talk with the speaker, perhaps consult their resume or vitae. The speech of introduction is intended to highlight the accomplishments, credentials, activities, and characteristics of the individual to speak. There are several conventions to be observed when conducting an effective speech of introduction. Do them well and the audience will be excited and feel rewarded to hear the speaker; do them poorly and the audience will want you to shut up.
1. Make the audience want to hear the speaker.
o You might relate an anecdote or (short) story, arouse curiosity, etc.
o Make an effort to get the audience to like/respect the person—use information that the audience would find interesting, significant, or appealing.
2. Cover the aspects of the speakers background that the audience would find pertinent: education, special honors, work, etc. (This information can be gained by interviewing the speaker or getting an information sheet from them).
3. Reveal the title or topic of the speech and make a connection between the speech and the audience—do not talk about the topic yourself.
4. Never talk about yourself or your own ideas/theories on the subject. Although, you might relate some anecdote about how the person to speak was especially helpful, etc.
5. Neither praise too highly, nor belittle or insult the speaker.
6. The more famous the speaker the less you need to say.
7. Some humor is okay, if it is in keeping with the occasion and tasteful.
8. Be brief—Get up, Speak up, Shut up.
Farewell: When someone is bidding farewell to others they often comment on the situation under which they are leaving—it may be bitter as in Nixon’s case, or fond as when a respected school teacher or colleague retires. Farewell speeches are given by both the retiree, and by those who are remaining behind. When expressing gratitude for another, note the experiences, kindness, support, helpfulness, opportunities, consideration, and warmth the individual extended.
1. Honor them—create a desire for the audience to emulate him/her.
2. Do not try to tell everything about the person—pick out the dominant personal traits, outstanding achievements, and/or influence on others. Keep your lists short but keen.
3. Although you may express regret at their departure, be positive about the future—tell where they are going…you will miss them, but they go on to greater/better things.
4. Do not make the audience overly depressed.
5. Sometimes a gift is connected with the speech (the cliché gold watch). Present it at the end of the speech.
When you are bidding farewell, you should also note the experiences, kindness, support, helpfulness, opportunities, consideration, and warmth your colleagues extended. Same principles as above apply here. Avoid the temptation to "really say what you think" about those who have wronged you, impeded your progress/success, or were downright mean. Such speeches often follow people and lead to regret for giving them.
Entertainment: Usually brief 3–5 minutes; but may be longer, 5–10 minutes tops. The speech to entertain requires more imagination, creativity, discretion, versatility, and judgment than perhaps any other type of speech. The purpose of the speech to entertain is, according to Robert G. King, "to interest, please and amuse your listeners." J.K.Horner writes that the primary purpose of the after dinner [or entertainment] speech is "entertainment and good fellowship." Enjoyment is the desired response from the audience in a speech to entertain. Its function is to contribute favorably to the climate of fellowship among the listeners. In a successful speech to entertain, observes William Allen Wood, "we expect our intellect, our taste, and our affections to be pleased." Additional suggestions for the composition and delivery of after dinner speeches are as follows:
1. Carefully select an interesting, timely, and appropriate topic. Having something familiar in the talk that the audience can relate to will enhance listener interest. Having a novel or surprise feature in the talk will enhance attention.
2. Build your speech around a central theme, moral, or one-point idea.
3. Support your main point or central theme with colorful stories, narrative and examples.
4. Be imaginative and creative when delivering your talk. Few speeches demand more imagination and creativity than the speech to entertain.
5. Be genial and goodnatured when delivering your talk—irony is acceptable but not bitterness.
6. Be optimistic and modest when speaking and create an appropriate mood for your listeners.
7. Use plenty of humor.
8. Humor is the key ingredient in speeches to entertain. This can be accomplished through satire, irony, banter, ridicule, and wit. Some of the recognized constituents of humor are:
Exaggeration: the process of taking an idea or statement beyond the limits of reality.
Incongruity: the process of provoking an unexpected response from one’s speech material.
Anticlimax: arranges a series of items in a growing order of significance only to end suddenly in the absurd.
Puns: involve the humorous use of a word that can be interpreted multiple ways.
Play on words: deals with the imaginative and creative use of language designed to produce a humorous response.
Dedication: Dedication speeches are given for the person or people who were instrumental in the construction, fundraising, or placement of buildings, objects, monuments, artworks, ships, (or any monumental vessel) and places (parks, etc.).
1. State the purpose of the occasion or the meaning to the group or organization—yes, they know this but you do it anyway for any guests or media who might be in attendance.
2. Give brief, pertinent facts—the history of a building, object, or the persons involved with it—life facts about the person for a statue, etc.
3. Express thanks for any person particularly instrumental in building, creating, and/or fund raising.
4. What inspiration for the future can the assembled group (and those not assembled) draw from the occasion/event?
5. Narration/anecdote is appropriate here, as are brief metaphorical stories or aphorisms.
6. Eloquence, originality, and profundity are the key here. Do not rely on stereotypes, do not use puns, avoid dead metaphors, and try to say something lasting and something that will sound good on the 5:00 news.
NB: The Champagne bottle is scored so that it will break when it is struck on the ship or building (score it well so it only takes one shot). If an elderly person is doing the breaking, be sure a couple of young people are nearby to assist them if they lose their balance.
Eulogies/Memorial: Eulogies are usually given for a person soon after their death at a funeral service; memorials are for large groups and are often held well after an individual(s) death.
1. The general purpose is to pay honor or tribute to the deceased. Never forget, however, that you are giving the speech for the living and not the dead.
2. Stress the dominant traits, outstanding achievements, and/or the influence the person had on events and people.
3. A biographical account of the person’s life (birth to death) is often part of the eulogy.
4. Create a sense of appreciation for the person. And hold their life up as one worthy of emulation.…Unless you think that they were a rotten so-and-so in which case you probably shouldn’t be speaking about them.
5. Highlight using quotations, stories, and examples.
6. The goals of a eulogy are to console the audience as well as to praise the deceased.
7. The eulogy is usually short, 2–6 minutes, and is usually followed by a sermon.
8. Religious messages are also combined with the eulogy.
http://homepages.wmich.edu/~mkent/cm105sos.html

Demonstration Speech Guidelines

Prepare a 4-6 minute speech demonstrating a process (how to do something or how to make something). When choosing your topic, consider your time frame, your personal skills and abilities, and your audience. You may decide to only demonstrate part of a process in order to adjust to the time limits (e.g., how to putt instead of how to golf, or how to shoot a free throw instead of how to play basketball). If showing only a portion of the process, it would be wise to bring in an example of the ‘finished product’ for your audience to see (e.g. a video showing a clip of a game and how defense fits in, or a finished example of a cake or other cooking dish).

This speech requires a visual aid. Remember all of the different types of visual aids so that you might use more creativity. You can show charts or graphs that show the popularity of your topic, images that show various ways to make it, videos or cartoons that show it in use, etc. In addition to your props, power point slides that show lists of ingredients, charts, and other images are helpful.

You must use at least 3 sources for this speech. They can include interviews, cookbooks, websites where you found tidbits and stats. As with all of your speeches, you must turn in a typed outline and bibliography before giving the speech.

The trick to this speech is preparing ‘speaking time’ during the spaces in your process that might be tedious. For instance, notice how they offer interesting info related to the audience on cooking shows or sports shows. You need to come up with something to say, for example, when you are stirring a mix. This is one reason you will need to practice with your visual aids: how will you know how much speaking time to prepare if you haven’t practiced with the visual aids. Practice will also ensure that you are comfortable using the visual aids and that you fall within the appropriate time limits.

This speech requires a high degree of creativity, so really take some chances with it and give it some thought. Past topics are listed on the next page.
http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/swebster/Demo%20speech%20guidelines.htm

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

nov 5 ???

Amber Spencer

Question

November 5, 2008


What are some of the myths associated with families?

One of they myths about a family is in a single family the mother is the only caregiver to children when the parent is single. Another example is that the father of the family provides for the family and the mother is a homemaker. That a return to more traditional family values and gender roles would save many marriages and protect children. That families of the past didn't have problems like families do today. That the children of divorced or unwed mothers are almost sure to fail. That divorced men can not be good fathers. Or that families used to stand on their own two feet and take care of their members without help from government.

Monday, November 3, 2008

breakfast

Amber Spencer

SD 241

Group Analysis Paper

November 3, 2008


The Breakfast Club


The movie the Breakfast Club shows a great example of the process of a group. As the movie progresses overtime so does the members of the Breakfast Club. They go from being five individuals that can not even stand to be in the same room together, to a close knit group, in the matter of only nine hours.

At the beginning of the film the students come together on a Saturday morning to serve a day in detention to serve time because at one point they had each acted out against the rules of the school. This is the first stage of the group called forming, that is where the group comes together and gets to initially know one other and form as a group. This group of students came from all different clicks around the school and, when they first entered into the library of their high school, each student could not even stand to be in the same room with each other. Out of each of their mouths all the words that they said to each other were harsh and disrespectful, and in a sense hurtful to that person. They were each their independent person, thinking highly of themselves and that the other people in the room were of a lesser life form then what they were. Clair thought so highly of her self that she thought she shouldn’t even be in the same room as the others. The principal of the school gives them an essay that they have to write on who they think that they are and why are they serving the detention. They each categorized themselves as Clair was the princess, Brian was the brain, the basket case was Allison, the athlete was Andy and the criminal was John.
Once the principal leaves the library the group of five students starts becoming a group and stops ridiculing each other by all the words that they speak to each other. They start becoming a group when they are all whistling the same tune, even though it is supposed to be complete silence. This stage of group forming is called storming which is a chaotic vying for leadership and trialing of group processes. As in group a leader comes out in the group to lead it, I thought that Andrew was the leader because he had the most muscles, and when a member of the group was getting out of hand, he would put them back into their place.
The third stage is called norming which is an eventually agreement is reached on how the group operates. The group reaches this stage when they keep hushed when others they know in that group are doing wrong, so that others in the group don’t get into more trouble. The group ventures out of the library so that John can go to his locker. Once the group makes it to the locker they find that they risked getting into more trouble, so that Binder could get his stash of marijuana. On the way back the group goes under the leadership of Andy and they almost get caught, so Binder who doesn’t mind getting into trouble since that is what he is known for, makes noise so that the others can make to the library and not get into more trouble. As a punishment, Binder is taken from the group and put into a different room, in which he escapes and crawls through the ceiling of the school to make it back to the group.
Once Binder is rejoined with the other members of the group the fourth stage of the group begins. This stage is called performing which the group practices its craft and becomes effective in meeting its objectives. The group starts this process, once Binder starts smoking his own stash of marijuana, all the group is opposed to it, except one by one they each smoke some. The smoking removes all of the tension and the group starts to open them selves up to the other members. They each talk about their home life, and how each have a difficult home life in each of their own ways. They begin to do stuff together like dancing on top of the rail, talking to each as people.
Claire helps Alison with her looks because Alison is letting her do that since that is Claire specialty. Once Alison reveals her new looks Andy is in awe of her and they become like a couple. Binder goes back to his closet where the principal left him for the day. Claire sneaks out of the library to go see him there. Brian is talked into writing the paper since he is the smartest of the group.
As the movies concludes the final stage of the group is shown too which is adjuring which is the process of "unforming" the group, that is, letting go of the group structure and moving on. Claire and Binder become a couple and so does Andrew and Alison. Brian writes the paper, and has made new friends that are on all different levels of the social status. One Saturday in detention changed the lives of five ordinary students for life. They were shown that even though there are students that aren’t in their social status the students are still human, and that they can become friends.
The Breakfast Club is the prefect example of how groups are formed, even though the members of that group doesn’t always want to be part of it. But overtime they become part of the group and learn to be in each others presence with out hurting each other by what they say, or the ways that they act.